Thanks to my cousin in Tel Aviv for this one:
An Israeli was on vacation in the United States, and was visiting a zoo. As he entered the ‘big cats’ section he saw a little girl foolishly leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabbed her by the cuff of her jacket and tried to pull her inside, apparently to maul and kill her as her screaming parents stood by paralyzed with fear.
The Israeli ran to the cage and hit the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
Whimpering from shock and pain the lion jumped back, letting go of the girl. The Israeli picked up the little girl and carried her to her tearful, overjoyed parents, who showered him with thanks as they nearly smothered their daughter with hugs and kisses.
A reporter, who had watched the whole event, was awestruck; he called out to the Israeli: “Sir, that was the most gallant and brave thing I’ve seen anyone do in my whole life! That was amazing!”
The Israeli replies, “Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and reacted; it was the right thing to do. Anyone could have done it.”
The reporter exclaimed, “Well, I’ll make sure this won’t go unnoticed. I’m a journalist, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page… So, tell me about yourself: where are you from, what do you do for a living, and what political party do you belong to?”
The Israeli, getting shy over all the fuss for doing the right thing, quietly replied, “I serve in the Israeli army and I vote for the Likud party.”
The following morning the front page of the paper read: RIGHT-WING ISRAELI ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH.
(Obviously, this is a joke, not a news story. However, it is incredibly on point for how the media treats Israel.)